Saying H(a)i-ku

Smells funny, dark, cold.

I start to question travel.

And who’s Keira Wong?

The Write Impressions

I thought I better brush up on my writing lingo before I met this so-called children’s books writer, Keira Wong. Lula’s favourite books are poetry, and my SR101 (Satellite Researcher) tells me that haikus are a form of poetry from Japan.

I peeked a look over Ms C’s shoulder at the letters Angus, Issy, and Scott wrote to Keira. They said I liked chicken – well, I hope Keira listens as well as she writes and gets me some chicken! I need to have my KFC fix at least once a day.  Maybe Keira will give me more stuff I like if I request in haiku form. If she likes writing and I like chicken, maybe some sort of deal could be worked out.

Travelling – what do I think of it?

I had a lot of time to think in my bubble wrap encasing. The 2 day journey in a tight envelope from Melbourne to Sydney really squashes your mind in one big bubble wrap, each thought popping and bursting, making me giggle and momentarily forget my loneliness.  I miss Ms C and her class, and of course, Lula.

Travelling by mail is a bit ‘meh’.  It’s hot, not a lot of fresh air and I was having chicken cravings. When I travelled from Bobular to Earth was more exciting. Lula hadn’t grown her 3rd navigating tail yet, so she had to travel in the FV1912 (Fantastic Vehicle Model from 1912, fyi) with me. It is a lot more fun having a travelling partner. The FV1912 was my brother’s old spaceship but I’ve added some cool decorations like chicken bones and photos of Blahrg’s 4 suns setting.

The FV1912 was also more roomy, and I landed in Carlton. My mother, who first visited Ms C’s mother in the Earth year of 1962 said this was a good place to receive Bobular’s light rays of inter-space travel. I don’t know Sydney very well but the place where I landed was stuffy and squashy. I tore open the envelope to get some fresh air and realised I was trapped in another container, only it was darker, colder and smellier. Only a small strip of light was shining through and my envelope was being enveloped by other envelopes.  I struggled over the mounds of paper to push my head through the one strip symbolising my freedom. Peering down, I saw “15” emblazoned on the stone door. I think I was in Keira Wong’s smelly, dark and cold letterbox. Yuck.

Big eyes, big smile – bit scary!

Ah! A shadow loomed over my one strip of fresh air and sunshine. Move! 2 big eyes stared into the letterbox, then all I saw was teeth. Where had Ms C’s class sent me? I don’t like travelling like this, not by mail anyway! Where was Lula? 4 fingers reached into the letterbox and tugged at my purple nails. I wish Lula was here to protect me. Actually, the would have licked and kissed these fingers playfully, she would have made friends than protect her owner!  Noone can reists lula rubbing her rainbow fur and preening her tuftencles in their direction.

The 4 fingers grabbed me by my tuftencles and pulled me through the letterbox. I hissed my orange fortunge to let the grabber know this was not a common greeting on Bobular. It is like pulling one’s wrist beard or pinkie toe. The grabber sat me on the green grass in the open fresh air and smiled at me.

I had met Keira Wong.

Big eyes, big smile - You must be Keira Wong.

Impressions of a Travelling Alien – By Mr Alien is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Q is for Quincemil (Peru)

La Cocina Peruana, 103 Avoca Street, Randwick

Organised by KEIRA on Tuesday, August 2010

The only country starting with ‘Q’ was Qatar, but we made an Alpha decision that this cuisine was too close to recent instalments of Persian and Lebanese, and the upcoming Turkish. So we decided to pick a city name starting with Q and go with the country from there. It was, in fact, a Beta decision…

5 Queasy Questioners

The Originals [Alanna, Sez, Ari and myself], and Ali.

“Where is our food?”

“How long have we been waiting for?”

“Why is there a HAIR in my pisco sour?”

“Did Ali just find another HAIR in her carne saltado?”

The Quick and the Dead

If only our food arrived as quickly as soon as that thick, coarse hair floated to the top of Alanna’s cocktail – we definitely were turned off our entrees before they were even served.

Waxing lyrical about the long and curly path of life caused Alanna to choke on a long and curly hair embedded in her passionfruit pisco sour – the “special” of the day. [Hm, how special, we now know!]

“It was in my teeth!” she cried, dry reaching. It definitely was not her hair either.

She wished for our entrée of yuccas fritas to arrive to make this traumatic experience a distant memory.

Hair of the Dog Cocktail ... indeed

Unfortunately, she had to endure the astute and hirsute memory for approximately 50 minutes as we waited for the yuccas to be practically grown from seedlings, harvested, pesticided, washed, imported from Peru and served to our table.

Yuccas to get rid of the yucky

Already turned off by the waft of sewerage floating through the air, poetically similar to the eyebrow hair floating on Ali’s plate, our appetites were most certainly lost and never to return again in the hour and a half wait for our main meals.

This dish received unanimous nods.

Ceviche - very authentic though I think I was the only one who liked it.

Wasn't much quinoa in this salad, which is why I ordered it. So...just a salad. Boo-ring.

Saltado - looks gross, sounds gross, tasted nice except for the 'meaty' taste.

Dining Quotient

4/10

The lack of hygiene was a BIG contributor to this lowest-ever score. The hair in the food and cocktail was abhorrent and the smell of sewerage was not their fault but added to the overall unpleasant experience.

At first, the ambience felt homely, the Latin music tinkling over the kitchen aromas and filling in the silence of the dining room [as we were the only patrons]. This in itself was disturbing regarding food turnover – but it was a Tuesday night.

Ari, ever the optimist, said it felt like being at a dinner party while the hosts fluffed about the kitchen. “Maybe it’s the chilled music that’s making them prepare our food so slowly, no rush!”

But with known friends as hosts, you can forgive slow service, help yourself to glasses, spoons or whatever the waist-long ponytailed waitress had forgotten [including the wearing of a hair net!] it was difficult to see the (b)right side of the perception of their hygiene! The table of two that eventually joined us also had to ask for a bread roll and some cutlery.

This Alpha instalment was reminiscent of my gourmet travels in Peru – but when you are backpacking, hair, dust, guinea pigs all do not matter in the grand scheme of things. But as a Sydney dining experience, with stringent health safety regulations, finding hair in your food twice in the same night is kind of gross. Well, okay. It IS gross. Unless your tastes lie far, far, far beyond where the wild things grow. [And if you think, "it's just a little hair", no, it wasn't. It's hair you would have to eat around. It's hair that had its own garnish!]

Sydney winter always brings overseas holiday adventures – it is a difficult time for the Alphabetians to catch up with one another. As it was back to basics with only the Originals present, we gain 1 point each to ensure the score was not a big, fat, hairy Z E R O.

3 pointer hat-trick!

After-party antics

We all ran away home to cry gently into our pillows. And Alanna to wash her mouth.

Food in a Hairy…”Q” is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

I just stalked you on twitter. Cant believe you only have 2 followers.

I did have three. But that one only followed me for less than 24 hours before she realised:

• I tweet less than once a month on benign topics;
• She mistook me for a more interesting Keira Wong who actually adapts to a 140-character limit rather than gives up on that confinement.

I’m finding it difficult to reconcile whether I should be amused or embarrassed by this fact pointed out by my friend, Andy.

I’ll let my ego dictate and go with – both.

And let the weak justifications on why I don’t use Twitter effectively to gain more followers begin!

“Short n’ sweet”

1. Main reason why Keira doesn’t update too often – 140 characters? I can’t even sum up my sorry excuses for having only two followers in this short space [a bit of a chicken and egg dilemma me thinks].

In defence of my shameful minimal following, I never developed an attachment to Twitter: tweet rarely, follow few is my MO. Of the few I follow, two are comedians, and Twitter is their domain, not mine. Twitter is great for people who utilise the one-word appreciation of dry observational punches: “burrrrrn”, “ZING!”, “lol” etc etc. Not so much for an author who loathes “lol” [the acronym, not the action] and loves the sound of her own keyboard punching out 140 pages, not characters.

2. What I thought of Twitter’s potential flight path.

I first joined Twitter a few years back and was dead wrong about how far and high that little blue bird could fly. ["Bah! What's with the bird? Someone ought to talk to marketing about that. I'm deactivating!"] My (incorrect) perception of Twitter’s longevity made me think Twitter was the bird in bush, not in the hand, and subsequently let it go.

Rejoining Twitter in the past six months, I can see how the rise of its popularity along with users’ own online popularity exponentially enhances the tweetness of the experience [sorry]. Though, increasingly, it bites the hand that feeds it. Ironically, controversial spitfires cause users to gain more followers in the online space to make up for the ones lost in real life a la Catherine Devenney/Wil Anderson. [And yes, I do realise my own sorry predicament if one's online followers outnumber their actual friends. Seemingly, I can't afford the risk, professionally and socially.]

Tweet for one, tweet for all

My general gripe (leading to my detachment) is that Twitter is just another platform in which to kill originality and creativity rather than breeding it: re-tweeting FB status updates and vice versa – we see enough repeated drivel in the media, thank you! And one particularly close to my home – Tweets and FB statuses being considered a newsworthy source by lazy journalists.

But are Twitter and FB the “real” thoughts of society a la Catherine Devenney/Wil Anderson? [C'mon, fair comment on John Mayer - you were thinking it too! Very likely if the guy ever decided he had enough love for someone other than himself to catch an STD off them.] But it sets a dangerous precedent, especially as Twitter doesn’t even purport paying lip service to privacy – anyone can access Tweets and everyone knows it. This goes against my grain of two-facedness discretion within gossip circles. People know they are being watched → will perform → becomes contrived → no actual news. A watched pot never boils and, c’mon, what we’re all after is that boiling point.

Walking a fine line

Moreover, using the social networking platform as a platform to defend controversial behaviour is not only boring but further proves the point of contrived, unoriginal “news”: “it was a joke taken out of context” a la Catherine Devenney. The line between what is real and what is put-on is blurred just like the line between satire/political correctness, Lindsay Lohan’s septum/Las Palma’s toilet cistern.

Reading my Tweets, I can be accused of performing contrived news. Seriously, is my life only about writing, drumming, drinking tea and occasionally building pretend rockets to space [btw, if real, very newsworthy!]? No wonder I only have 2 followers. But the moment I swap “Drumming while eating Anzac biscuits” to “Miss Image Issues in the 3rd row just caught a lot more complicated. Her literacy skill is like the blue strip on a pregnancy test….bad news” or “Writing new blog post on web manners” to “Teacher’s Pet has a face only a mother could love” I would definitely need to Tweet a lot more than 140 characters to fix that train wreck of a career.

But luckily, only two people would actually see that.

Sittin' waitin' wishin' for some more Twitter followers

https://twitter.com/KeiraWong [for those curious...]

Teetering on the Twitter is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Kill your darlings.

Cue eyebrow raise from me.

Well, this advice would have been handy the week before when my sister annoyingly borrowed my favourite Kookai top and dropped curry sauce all over it.

Unfortunately, my media tutor was not talking about taking a bayonet to my loved one [the open-endedness of that phrase is what appealed most to me].  He was talking about cutting of a different kind: being rid of those verbose elements of your writing to cut to the chase. I have been practicing this with my written and spoken words ever since I received this advice in 2002. [Though, I'm yet to tell a story to a friend under 46 minutes without being sidetracked. Baby steps, baby steps...]

It all comes back to ego?

It’s difficult for any writer to:

1. limit themselves to brevity – how many writers are constantly over word-count than under it?
2. have the courage to admit certain elements of the piece do not move it forward. Writers’ egos are discovered with their writing talent, and it is difficult to admit their own words add nothing to the overall topic except that it sounds clever/funny. [“But isn’t that enough?” they cry. No. No, it's not.] The attachment to these darlings may even draw away from the topic and confuse the piece.

Writers who are too attached to a particular phrasing will find it extremely difficult to detach from them. Love is blind like that:  you like it → you can’t be objective about it → you can’t judge it → and if you can’t judge it, it may just mean it’s probably not as good as you’d like to think.  You may think  the mispronunciation of “ekscape” is endearing, but to the rest of us it’s a speech impediment.

This is where an independent editor with fresh eyes and a neutral heart should step in (CF “The Write to Edit“) to finish the break up for you.

But can we bring it back to me, please?

[A variation of kill your darlings is “kill your babies”. I always found this blackly humourous as a children’s author.]

Killing your darling babies is especially pertinent when writing for children. I am often met with: “Oh, it should be easier to write for children than a real novel.” I am not taking personal offense to this statement, but that is wrong. Utterly and totally wrong, you moronic idiots. I feel like pouring my coffee slowly into your laps while explaining the virtues of this Andrea Brown quote :

Most new writers think it’s easy to write for children, but it’s not. You have to get in a beginning, middle and end, tell a great story, write well, not be condescending – all in a few pages.

It’s very difficult to punch out one-liners and stick to one idea as it is to drum at a slow tempo and measure 3 ml quantities. Accuracy and relevance are highly valued, though difficult to achieve. And it is a must that it should be achieved.

Reading the current media pith that just can’t be spat out with the seeds proves this turn of phrase of darling killing cannot be repeated enough. If you think “killing your darlings/babies” is too harsh and a sour poison to swallow, just remember: by saving these darlings, you may just be killing your story.

CUT! Once you get on a roll, you can't stop...

[Photo courtesy of Jean Hou.]

A Time to Kill is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

“I assure you my attention to detail will be back on track fro Monday.”

Yep, this was exactly what I sent my writer-in-chief after being blasted for my lack of attention to detail over the past few days.

Unfortunately, I also lack an editor for my emails as well as for the news reports I churn out. The platitude “you’re your own worst critic” doesn’t ring true in my case. I read my articles and think, “That’s fantastic! No changes needed!” [No, that’s not true – I don’t actually read my articles after the first draft.]

Seriously, I do go over my articles with a fine-toothed comb, especially to check content accuracy. I take everything except my food with a heavy dose of salt, especially when dealing with media releases from government agencies [you can't trust 'em] – skepticism is one of my super powers.

Sadly, attention to detail is not. My eye is not so refined within my own writing to pick out the space that shouldn’t be there between the number and the hyphen or the space that should be there between the parenthesis and the quotation mark. I’m concentrating too much on my voices in my head, the message, the accuracy, my egotistical assurance that everything is correct.

Our team of writers does not have editors to review their work. That is a major downfall. While you are your own worst critic, it is very difficult to edit your own work. You are seeing the same words, you subconsciously skip over actual phrases since you know what it says ‘The yada yada council approved the yada yada law’, and you do not have a fresh pair of eyes [and with my -6.75 eyesight, my eyes are anything but pop n’ fresh].

While writing my books, and prior to my news writer day job, I earned a crust as an editor. In that time, this is what I learned about editing: writers possess little ability and interest in doing so.

Editing is a skill, writing is a skill. Even if you posses both, their combination is like a liger – two strong elements equalling a weaker and infertile offspring. Best to leave these as two separate skill sets to gain maximum benefit out of both.

The morale of da storey: Keira wans and needs a editor!

Wa? You want BOTH skills?

The Write to Edit is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Previously on Keira Wong, for those who just tuned in, here’s a brief history of the Halycrus books:

1. Keira is recommended to submit a brief to a publisher commissioning writers for a new children’s book.
2. Brief is peer reviewed: “Ms Wong has a natural writing style for children. She implements the KISS rule well.” [KISS = Keep It Simple, Stupid – presumably I am the stupid. Thanks.]
3. Publisher wants to make the one book into a four part series.
4. Books are onsold to international arms of related companies [US, Canada, Singapore, UK].
5. Keira is asked to write a four part “prequel” to the original series, requested by the US publishers.
6. Request for the main character, blond, blue-eyed James, to be changed to African-American to be more identifiable to the US audience.

James, far left.

A good mix of aliens, humans, boys, girls, and hair colours.

So what do you want?

The concept of changing my characters for the US market always slightly amused me, mainly because the real blonde, blue-eyed James now has no credibility/proof in claiming a book character is named after him. But I am all for positive and relevant changes in books, lest it becomes simple “busy work” for the editors.

But I don’t want to think!

I scoffed at the Harry Potter series changing for American audiences from “HP and the Philosopher’s Stone” to “HP and the Sorceror’s Stone”. The change was due to the US market potentially not knowing the concept of a philosopher’s stone, as “philosopher” is associated with a “thinker” in the US. I found this particularly amusing. A suggestion: let them read the book, think about it and learn what a philosopher’s stone is within the context! Seems the name change is quite subversive to and quite indicative of the US market.

Generalised stupidity

Yes, yes, I know people may be thinking, “What’s with the generalised attitude” and I may be thinking, “What’s with the stupid?” and hope these people go off in a huff of ignorance before I scream at them: “Is this not the exact concept of learning and thinking?!” It’s ridiculous; the book is set in England. Why would English people say they eat Cap’n Crunch if they eat crumpets? Why give a false pretence of the life and culture in which they live? One of the changes I found particularly funny was changing “cooker” to “stove”. Um, what does a stove do to food? It cooks it!! Seriously, how confusing can that be?

[I have also heard that the US publishers thought the word “philosopher” is not appealing and would give children an inaccurate impression of the book's content. But I would think not many children in general all over the world, not just American children, would know that a philosopher’s stone is an alchemist tool. And I only know that because I read it in some kids’ book about wizards and a guy called Plato.]

Just enough education to perform…

But to be fair, I am now in two minds [“only two?” you may ask] over the situation. When writing for children there is always a backdrop of educating them in some form. I was reading a book to my friend’s 2 year old daughter, and it really irritated me to see the words “mommy”, “alligator” and “cookies”. There is no cultural context to this book, so I see no point in reading it the point in changing the terms used. The kid is not learning anything except how to spell incorrectly, develop a weird hybrid accent, and inaccurately name one of our most dangerous and coolest animals well into its unedumacated future.

Affirmative action

Sure, with the US HP market, they are learning about another culture, but it could be seen as regressive to read “mummy” instead of “mommy” as with my above gripe. My books were changed from “mum” in Oz/UK to “mom” for USA/CA/Sing. But this spelling was the only way one could discern the characters’ backdrop, which wasn’t integral to the story. Harry Potter, as a whole series and as a character, is very English – who knows whether that is because it is important for character identification or JK Rowling simply does not know anything else other than English culture – I don’t think the changes made are warranted. It served only to muddle the story backdrop. Why would an English lad say “mommy” when clearly his accent is not ‘alf English guv’ner, its full English. I think it would be confusing to have an English character say “mommy” as much as it would be for them to say “madre”. Only change a foreign book if it positively advantages the reader. Or, at least, doesn’t disadvantage them. Helping to identify with the characters [a similar change was made in HP as in my books] is advantageous, as is having a clearer phrase [pop my clogs v kick the bucket: pop my clogs?? What the?] but would it really kill kids to know another word for “mail” is “post”? It may help them in their future travels if they ever decide to leave the proverbial square.

But hey…change is good, right?

To be fair, looking at the changes made to Rowling’s manuscript for the US market, a lot of the changes are positively justified as they simply correct many, many, many grammatical mistakes. Despite it being written in the Queen’s language. Which may also be indicative of the English population. In this case, changing a character’s manner of speech so it is grammatically and culturally understood can never hurt [unlike my disparaging and insensitive generalisations of every nationality except my own].

Hey, in my defence, I’ve already generalised my own nationality by noting Australians never finish their sentences: CF “Arj at Large”.

Cultural Changes is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Last week was my three month anniversary as a news writer. It has felt like three years. And not in the oh-my-god-I-feel-weathered-and-aged-ten-years-in-ten-days type of supposed time v real time situation. My writing life now is so much different to what it was three months ago. It’s barely recognisable even as a past life.

Three months ago I was run off my feet organising book tours (with no time to write the advertisement for a much needed PA/Events Co-ord Junior) and attempting to write the latest novel. Now, I am doing a handstand, throwing a knife, and reading court transcripts. Without a lunch break. It certainly feels that way with my present role. The need to switch off is quite pressing, and the aid for that is unfortunately not thinking about more writing but which X-box game to play.

Real laments

My previous post lamented that I was always asked, “How is the new book coming along?” [CF "It's a fine line between pleasure and pain".] And now this post shall lament that I am always asked, “Any more book tours? How are the book tours going?” [I also do realise that all this lamenting, complaining and blogging takes up precious time in which I could be book writing/organising book tours. Using this time doing just that would be the smart thing to do. I’m usually really good at doing the smart thing. Not this time. Maybe because it’s a Sunday.]

My friend, Kylie, asked me these exact questions a fortnight ago, but had a great follow up question to my answer of: “Meh. I’m too busy with the news writer role now.”

Usually with this nonchalant response people fully accept that I am done and dusted with the whole book tour shenanigan, and I’ve added my Adventure Book Tour along with my drum kit, mosaic tiles, karate outfit and unicycle to the ever-piling Too Hard Basket of Miscellaneous and Passing Activities in Keira’s Life. But having her ask me this question really proved that this was not the case at all.

Real-ity

Did you get what you wanted out of it?

Overall, yes, I did.

Initially, the book tour was born when I had a bit of spare time in my day job and a bit of writing space vacant in said day job. Actually, there was a huge and highly demanded space for rent for creativity generally in my life. I picked up my book idea from two years ago and nutted out a chapter-by-chapter plot breakdown, character analysis and three chapters. I was in the middle of researching for my new book when I thought I should re-market my author name to make my book pitch more viable to the publisher.

The book tour took on a whole new meaning – I really took joy in encouraging kids to read and write. I took joy in exciting them and facilitating their enthusiasm. I also took extreme joy in giving these hyped up kids back to their teachers. So what I gave in screaming kids and hopefully to their motivation and love for the written word, I received in tenfold with kids recognising my books and knowing I hopefully inspired some of the lil’ tykes. And this will ensure I will continue to give.

- As an aside as I add in my previous blog links, I also sense a pattern emerging and should take note of the common denominator of all my laments: Me – I like lamenting and I have not gotten this new book into gear. I’ve lamented previously that book tour fever grabbed hold of me, thus distracting me from writing the new novel [CF "Down the Garden Path".] And, I’m perfectly aware, I am now claiming the news writer role is distracting me from the book tours. I think it is proven that Keira can only concentrate on a few activities at a time as shown by the elicit mix of drumming, mosaics and handstands. -

But I digress.

My news writer job certainly is the driver [it's a big 4WD that is called Pay Your Bills], and unfortunately book writing has to take a back seat. Possibly locked in the boot and forgotten about until I go on that next “What should I do right this moment” trip.

But with Kylie’s question, I realise the book tours are not on the shelf quite yet. I certainly got a lot from my book tours. And there is so much more to receive. And give. I promote my books, my name, and I feel I am giving back to the students and curriculum that encouraged me to write in the first place. The book tours also have certainly set me up to carry on promotion in the countries my books are sold (notably Canada and the UK, which I now plan to implement in less than a year’s time when the opportunity presents itself this year and in 2011). I think I received a much better bonus than I ever expected to get with my book tours. And I am not letting go.

It's all about GIVE...

“]

...and TAKE! [Of course.

You gotta give to get is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Power is constantly running

I lamented in a previous post (CF And a bit about writing…) that writing is subversive to my personality, my method of madness. I don’t listen to drum n’ bass because I like it, I just like doing a lot of things in a hurry – it’s the soundtrack to my life. Other people’s montages are real time for me.

New toy

I am often asked how my new book is coming along. I often reply, “Oh, it’s been stalled because of [insert miscellaneous activity].”

My new six-month activity is learning the drums. Earlier this year it was metalwork, last year it was motorbike riding, the year before was papier-mache. I think a pattern is emerging: my attention span for interests drips and drops into a beautiful mosaic formation. [Ooh! My new activity for next  month!]

Drum kit - $900

Drumsticks, metronome, practise pad – $100

Cost of bond forfeited after being kicked out of unit for noise pollution – $1500

Downloaded songs and beat sheets – free and illegal

Keira becoming typically distracted by something shiny or another activity despite being broke and homeless – priceless.

Old habits…

I was training my ear the other night and I realised I can’t shake the writer out of me – I applied a literary creative approach to the musical creative process.

I prefer seeing the notations on paper, akin to words on a page. A few drummers have told me they can’t read music [Dave Grohl famously can't read music: "I learned to play by ear. I wasn't trained and I can't read music. What I play comes straight from the soul."] and play by ear. This is a skill I would love to fine tune [oh, the pun was most definitely intended].

Training my ear has been going well. I can listen to a very simple rock beat and play along to it, picking out the hi-hat (open and closed), snare and bass. BUT I also feel the urge to write the drum notations on sheet music. I feel more comfortable writing and seeing a story of the beats, and understand the flow of the beat much better because of it. [Perhaps, though, this "literary" approach is more a "retentive" approach.]

…Die hard

But I have noticed I do apply a literary approach to most encounters in my life. Most notably, I view the people in my life as characters [many of whom I have killed three times in my "mind script". I'm willing to accept that not everyone who thinks leggings are pants or couples who buy a pet and call themselves its "mummy" and "daddy" are moronic, but I haven't yet seen evidence to support this theory].

So while my activities/passing novelties take time away from my book writing, I am pleased that some sort of literary process is occurring. And just like that….the guilt melts away.

Now, to justify how I can equate book writing to shopping…

Finding the “off” switch is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

P is for Persian

Anahita Meat & Wine, 7/54 Burns Bay Road, Lane Cove

Organised by ARI on a Friday, June 2010.

A typical night in everything but the cuisine.

9 Party goers

[Still pumping out the numbers, not bad!]

The ORIGINALS [minus Sez who had to work late and teach a z u m b a class!], Ali, Lori [Alanna’s friend from “O”], Mack [friend and ex-colleague], Erin [colleague who joined after our after work drinks in Pyrmont] and JAMIE! The Georgian Peach, a friend of my two very good ATLiens, Jaime and Brittany.

Pre-curses

Ari informed us it would be a set menu for $55, which included entrée, main, dessert and soft drink. We had to prepay the $55 as soon as we walked into the restaurant. This delayed our typically late party of 8 [one diner was even later!] more so as we all fumbled for cash or credit and lined up to pay before being seated. Corkage was charged at $6.20 [what is with the expensive corkage?! CF "O" Alpha Dinner]. This unfortunately or fortunately caused us to partake in after work drinks from 4 pm to make up for the wine we would inevitably choose not to drink.

The set menu Ari sent to us did not reflect what we actually received. We were short a Kado, Keyar and a main meal of chicken. Of course, we could have misinterpreted a lot of what was going on that night, because frankly, it was a bit of a mish-mash.

[Note: This really shows that research and communication pays. Upon adding the link to the restaurant, I saw that corkage was actually charged at $6.20 per bottle, not person. I started cursing Ari's typical male lack of attention in typical female quick to blame style, "he was probably wrong about the dishes we were expecting to receive too!" As I trawled further through the website, I saw the menu which Ari copied and pasted from - indeed he was correct in what we were to receive. And the site quotes the banquet and show at $42 pp, not the $55 we prepaid. In typical fashion, I felt contrite about my curses towards Ari and typically started to curse the things I could not change. More worse than a business not having a website (in this day and age, really!) is a business that has a website that is out of date.]

Platters

Stand outs of what we did receive were the dip platter with Kashk (roasted eggplant with goat whey) and Moosir (yoghurt mixed with Persian spices), and the Joojeh (chargrilled chicken wing and drumsticks with saffron and lemon juice).

The dips

The main meals were average fare, beef and possibly lamb slabs with roasted tomato. Served with basmati and saffron rice, which is really nice with a knob of butter melted on the top.

Mmm, Alanna and Lori with the rich, creamery butter rice. Covered in rich, creamery butter.

Dessert was a type of cakey, fried icecream with raspberry coulis. Not the rosewater rice noodle described on the menu. Speaking of which, we were missing the soft drinks too.

Put offs

We ended up ordering two bottles of wine, for which we also had to prepay. I am a little befuddled by this strange ritual of prepaying in a restaurant. It really got me offside actually, especially when you are part of a large group.

The music show was a nice touch, though it was quite loud and put a stop to all conversations. It was also quite Latino, a bit strange for a Persian restaurant. It was nice music though.

Check out his little sax!

The patronage was also slightly Rotary Club, acceptable for a Hungarian Sunday lunch, but on a Friday night, kind of put a weird vibe to the night.

Sums up the patronage well: An actual, real life user of the BAG HOOK!

[Bag Hook photo requested, in between laughing, by Alanna to add on the blog]

Performance

6/10

This is due to the prepaying, the value for money, the service, the ambience, and the location [most of us had to trek from the city to the ‘burbs and then back into the city. I would like to implement a city-only radius to these dinners]. Ari commented that the food and music were not typically Persian at all. The buttery rice was the only authentic dish [though Jamie said it was very Southern US as well]. But we must have these low ranking dinners to really enjoy the gems! And the company was, as always, lovely, especially with the special guest star, the Georgian Peach/Southern Belle, Jamie.

After party antics

Everyone shuffled home, slightly disappointed with this Alpha instalment. Jamie, Erin and I went to the Argyle to meet up with a friend of mine who was leaving to London. We then went to the Sugarmill in the Cross until morning. I did not mean to have such a rowdy night [cue rolling of the eyes, then cue Keira rolling into some vodka]. And typically, fade to black…

A version of Persian…“P” is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.

Back it up, back it in, let me begin

I’ve dabbled in all sorts of writing, trying to not only find my niche but also something to sustain me professionally. Book writing is great, but I do need a day job. My background is primarily in feature writing -putting a[n opinionated] spin on a recent news item (just how I like it, especially as it’s my opinion)- and content writing for corporations’ websites/marketing material. All have a significant message to be told.

“]

And another thing! [Me being opinionated

I had work experience at a local newspaper for three months and was offered a cadetship, but I turned it down as I thought it wasn’t really what I was after in my career.

Why go?

The reason why the newspaper was not my particular niche was that about 50% of the time I was chasing news from media releases. From my chair. At my desk. By phone. Or email. And it was local news on fetes and Meals on Wheels which wasn’t the hard hitting news a uni journo was after. In my present company, I freelanced as a legal feature writer, which I really enjoyed. I had a wide creative license in how I structured my articles and punned my way through the headlines. The opportunity to extend my freelancing into a permanent role as a financial and legal news reporter really appealed to me and I decided to give it another chance. And believe me, the learning curve is steep.

What do you want from me?

The biggest challenges of my news writer role:

1. State only fact, not opinion. Yes, this is difficult for an opinionated person whose background is expunging opinionated pieces. Extremely difficult. I’ve caught myself analysing the facts and giving my opinion, and drawing a conclusion from those facts [which is usually an obvious conclusion]. But what I have learnt in reporting is if they don’t outwardly say it, then I don’t say it. Just. Stick. To. The. Facts. Okay, got it. [FYI One more month I will be able to contribute to the value-add of the "Comment Only" section to place my own findings! But until then...]
2. Media releases are your best friend and worst enemy. Yes, media releases are the bane and joy of a journo’s day. A red herring served on a silver platter. The information is all there but whether it’s newsworthy or accurate is another story altogether. And the usual answer to your probing questions: “Refer to the media release”. But it’s wrong! These are the times where I miss the face-to-face interviewing of feature writing.
3. Volume of the input v Brevity of the output. Specifically to the subject matter of my role – reading over 40 pages of material or tracking down seven primary sources to output one paragraph. It’s a few hours of work to create an alert that takes 5 seconds to read and 1 minute to write.

For the love of it

And that is why I do what I do. For the love of writing. Any writing.

Musing on the news is a post from: paperback writer - where the wild things grow.